...

I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. i want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. i want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die I want to die. I want to die.

I touch your lips and stare in your eyes.

You smile. and it makes me fly.
You are the reason my heart beats.
Dearest Love,
I hope this message finds you well.
As these endless thoughts drip from my soul.
I try to find the courage within me to say it aloud. Those three beautiful sacred words....
I love you.
I can't bring myself to do just that.
but i feel it.

I can honestly say I do.
Every boy was just a toy for me to play with.
I got bored and threw them away.
But... this was a line I used.
You're different.
You are. And you are the reason my heart beats.
Tonight, It'll be just you and me.
I know what you mean when you say you don't need sex.
If you don't then I don't.
I can deal with that.
Because the little moments.
The ones with me laying by you and hearing your heart beat.
Those are the ones I want to remember.
I'm giving you my heart. My whole heart. Take care of it dear.
It's been shattered before... but I trust you.
I trust you'll take care of it.
And Darling.
I love you.

Avec tout mon coeur,
Tasha Marie Gurney

I just saw Jordann. :D

(Baby) why are you doing this to me?!
(Sweetheart) Are those your eyes staring straight back at me?
(Angel) I see your smile everywhere!
(Darling, stop)

Night falls and I'm running in circles.
I'm being chased by my imagination.

Tell me I'm forgiven say you'll always be mine.
Say that everything is over, tell me I'm fine.
No one deserves to live like this!

I touch your lips and stare in your eyes
You smile and it makes me fly
You are the reason my heart beats
Tonight it's just you and me

Night as dark as my thoughts sets the scene for my return
Lightning nips at my heels as I race home
Wearily I stagger towards the song of her pale voice
Demons jeer my attempt to be free

Tell me I'm forgiven say you'll always be mine
Say that everything is over, tell me I'm fine
No one deserves to live like this

I touch your lips and stare in your eyes
You smile and it makes me fly
You are the reason my heart beats
Tonight its just you and me

Windows cast her gentle reflection
Her somber silhouette dances for me
Dear God, it's her

Look at you, you miserable fool
Get off your knees, your prayers fall upon deaf ears
Gods turned his back on you, heavens gates are shut
And now you're knocking on the devils door

Ive been expecting you for some time, sir
Allow me to introduce myself
I'm the one who pulls on all the strings, son
You're lucky I don't kill you where you stand

Tonight I raise my glass for I know its time to move on
(this can't be real. there's nothing left)
My patience will not last, tomorrow I will be gone
(all hope has failed. Ive lost my soul)

Tasha. On love.

Jordann and Jacob broke up.. she is heartbroken. I can hear it in the words she isn't saying.I can hear it in the way she's behaving. I can hear her. Screaming. Screaming in sadness. In sorrow. In hatred. Not hatred because she hates him. But another hatred. Hatred because she loves him. Loved..
Love can be such a nasty thing. Such a horrible heartbreaking thing. It can be better. it WILL be better. you just have to look deep within yourself and you will see it. The beautifulness within love.

I will always love. Always. This is one promise I can actually keep.

With all my Love,
Tasha Marie.

Lost in Mexico- Album 3(Fuck if we know)

I woke up one morning
Hungover as shit.
Just as the sun lit.
I thought I'd forget
and never have to think about it.
Fuck
I just got hit by a truck
Dude, couldn't even spare a buck.
Just my luck.
I'm stuck.
I look at John,
Where the fuck is my lawn?
He doesn't know
Where the fuck do we go?
Fuckin lost in mexico
on the bathroom floor in Texaco.
So we get up and decided
what decision should be provided?

(Incomplete. You like?) :)

You know what I realized? (That I'm dying?)

Dear people who read this,
Shuddup. :) Just kiddinggg. I really miss you guyss. :( I never realized that I have gone through sooo many guys in such a short period of time...
Jeremy. didn't like him more than a friend.
Brent. Let's just say... it didn't work out.
now... Josh.
I don't want to fucking jinx it this time. sooo. lets just see where this goes? I'm a teenager. desperate for love.. Not just any love.
True. Wholesome. Unconditional. Love.
I want the love that everyday you look at that person and love them even more.
I want the love that makes it hard to be angry at them even when you should be.
I want the love that the old people walking through the park holding hands has.
I want the love that is simply given and never has to be asked for.

That's what I want. That is what I am searching for.
I have never had any sexual relations with any of these boys. (For the record)
So. Call me a whore. A slut. A skank.
All I'm looking for is Love.

Avec mon coeur, Adieu.
(With my heart, Goodbye)
Tasharella.

Tears Don't Fall

Hiii.
I am soo happy!
The homecoming dance was yesterday. So amazing. My favorite song... RUDE BOY. I loved it. As you can guess why. Oh and today I learned why people kiss with their eyes shut! If you kiss with your eyes shut it puts all of your focus on themm. :D
Oh and the new beau. The FRESHMAN. YEAHHH!!!
COLTON. yes . so now you know.